Man Abducting Children in Rocket Ship

As reportsof missing children’s continue to rise, suspicions of a lone man abducting children on a massive scale had also risen. The influx of missing children’s cases incidentally corresponded with the introduction of a new federal program called “Steve’s Rocket ship of Enlightenment”, which teachers could apply their class for. Steve, rocket ship entrepreneur, was offered a grant by a prestigious university to kick start his educationally relevant field trip-esque institution that sought the show kids the “beauty” of the inner cosmos. This was deemed highly important, as quoted by professional educators, “for absolutely no reason besides the obvious ill-defined implications, good or bad, of being in space. Mostly to get those little apathetic sh*ts out of class so we can put our attention to the students who really matter.”

As more youngsters ascended into the solar system, more were routinely reported missing within weekly periods. Scientists have tirelessly probed space, and based upon the initial trajectory of the rocket ship, have guesstimated its position, and has been confirmed tobe orbiting Mars, shooting ladders towards the ground which rows of youngsters were seen descending; further satellite photos of red planet reveal solid, one piece encampments, bordering a developed settlement which on the main entrance of a big banner signifies a perhaps nefarious plot, reading “The Super Milky Way Death Cult of Earth, and The Order of a New Age Regime of Mars.” After laborious hours of research on their website, it would appear that the SMDC & TONARM is a socially driven campaign to assimilate young boys and girls into a societythriving with new ageist ideologies and spiritual practices.

Their website goes on to explain, “Our goal is to show children that there are peaceful, relatively simple ways to co-exist in society. Our philosophy is that by exposing kids to death through exotic means of public execution and responsible displaysof safe suicide, they will come to terms with this inevitability of nature andbe deterred to anything except simply exist in society. We envision a society run entirely off of suicide, and depression, resulting from religious practices of death. It’s a fundamental truth of all spiritual exercises, that acceptance of death is mandatory to a happy life style!” Based upon financial reports parlayed from their internal web servers, one thousand child suicides, 50% assisted, with “tiredness” being cited as a general complaint among child laborers who then become eligible for “nap time”. Analysis reveals that the new children arrivals are immediately sent to work, and when upon becoming too weary to shop keep, farm, or work public transit, 9/10 submit to having their veins flooded with a synthesized, fast-acting toxin which shuts down their central nervous system. Most curiously, they are kept in a post-paralytic state and kept for storing, with mentions of “feeding liquefied consciousness through IV tubes”, “inserting consciousness into a physical, appropriate receptacle [brain] to generate a supreme entity” and “bodies are afterwards disposed, or mindless vessels are utilized to encourage cult specific acts” (Pages 6-23 ofthe TEMPARM annual financial status report) peppered throughout the memo of the paper, which indicates that supplies are being transferred from Earth, to Mars; thusly, further investigations are pending.